I can’t speak from experience about the validity of image representation on dating sites like match and eHarmony, but judging from the study done by Ellison et. al. it seems that people tend to present the best version of themselves, a desirable version of themself. They did not, however, wish to misrepresent themselves. They were honest about who they are and what they do, but play some aspects up, like one would do on a resume. Let’s be honest, no one wants to be seen first thing in the morning in their pajamas, puffy eyed wondering around the kitchen in slippers munchin’ on a bowl of fruity pebbles. Even though the morning version of yourself is true representation of you, you don’t parade that version around for the world. (well, some pajama dependent people might ) Ideally, people want to present themselves as well-groomed and well-dressed; a better version of yourself, an enhanced version. As the article stated, people’s motivation to portray an honest image of themselves is due to the fact that an eventual face-to-face meeting is likely to happen and it would be more embarrassing to be caught lying than to have their profile over-looked, to their ignorance, because of shortcomings.
Facebook is another amazing online realm of self-representation. Many people use Facebook as a place to explore others, declare opinions and entertain people with wit, knowledge and charm. Unfortunately, when a person updates their status it is there for all to read; old friends, new friends, bosses, co-workers, cousins, aunts, uncles, moms and dads. People have to censor their thoughts to retain an image that they would like unmarred. SNL produced a funny commercial related to this topic. It’s called “Your Mom’s on Facebook.” It is truly appropriate to this discussion.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/184577/saturday-night-live-moms-on-facebook
I don't think there is anything wrong with emphasizing the positives about yourself. You worked hard for your accomplishments; tell people about them. I agree with that the majority of people on a site that has the potential to meet the users in person keeps people honest. Especially for a dating site, it makes no sense to lie. The point is to find someone that loves you, and lying about yourself will only lead you to more of the wrong partners. You're sharing this information with people you do not know. I have no problem telling people my major or what I do, but I do have a problem telling people right away about my negatives, or, in the above example, what I sleep in or what slightly embarrassing cereal I can't get enough of. Those are the kinds of things you are supposed to learn in time, and after getting to know the person are often looked at as endearing rather than repulsive.
ReplyDeleteFacebook, in my opinion, has made us adjust how we present ourselves, and I'm not quite sure if it's necessarily our best selves. When posting a status, more thought is put into what other people will think about it. I myself check my Twitter and really think about something good to tweet about. I complain enough about how some people post TMI that I feel like I need to post something ridiculously entertaining to not be a hypocrite. Also, you see all the pictures out there that people take in their bathrooms of themselves and/or scantily clad. This is not the best version of this person. It's an over-sexualized, shallow version. This is not promoting how great you are or is even reflecting your actual self. Facebook has turned into a place where even though people know who you actually are, pretending to be someone else is acceptable and encouraged. I'm not sure when we moved from telling more about ourselves to becoming entertainers, but it's time to understand that how we're presenting ourselves can really affect our lives.